I found out tonight that the end of my day job is growing near. We'd had discussions before, but per my boss' encouragement - I began to think it was silly to get worked up over the possibility I might be unemployed. Just a few days ago he said everything would be fine. Tonight - on a Sunday - I got two emails and a Facebook message. Clearly everything is not fine. I'll spare you the details but this was nothing I could control. I did my job 120% and I'm proud of the work I did at this place. It's unfortunate that I have to leave a job I love and look for something else.
Several people have asked if I might try doing art full time... and the answer is yes. I'm going to try. I'm going to apply for jobs and see what happens, but I'm going to paint my fingers off. I'm going to be that girl you see in Wal-mart with paint on my clothes. I'm going to do everything possible to try to make this work for me.
With my current job I've had a taste of doing something I absolutely love and in the past I've had a taste of doing jobs I absolutely hate. I'm going to try my hardest to keep this high. I'm going to try to sustain this level of satisfaction with myself and we'll see how well I do.
I told a friend tonight that I was terrified of failing. I was scared that I'd start painting and I'd realize that I wasn't good at it and no one wanted my work, but maybe, just maybe, I'll be wrong. Maybe the store that already carries my work will sell out. Maybe I can get other stores to carry my work as well.
One friend wants to help me start my own store.
We'll see what happens but the good news is, I've decided to try. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that I don't royally screw this up!
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